You Scratch My Back, Should I Scratch Yours?

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to not think about yourself? Honestly, how many times in a day do you put another before yourself?

The supermarket. My arms are sore and awkward. I'm trying to somehow keep that tower of cans, bags, and boxes that I had collected in my arms from the inevitable. Falling. I was too proud to get a basket or a cart. Or maybe just too naive. Did I know I would see fresh strawberries that I knew I could make into a fruit salad for my dad for the week? Did I know that we had minimal sweets in the house and that my 16 year old brother would complain about it later? Did I really have to pile it all up? Of course I did.

13 items. To me, because strawberries and apples are both fruits, I hop in the express lane. 12 items or less. My heaping mound of groceries is now a chaotic and overwhelming pile of profit on the black belt in front of both me and the very unhappy, clearly misunderstood 15 year old cashier.

Then, a woman behind me. A pack of gum. Why go to the grocery store for a pack of gum? Why not the gas station? Some things I will never understand.

"You know, truthfully I have 13 items..." I look back at her, a smile just barely breaking through on her face, but just for courtesy. "Here, go ahead of me, I'm just a pain."

A real smile. Genuine. A small gesture to completely make a strangers day. A literal portrayal of putting others first. And what did it cost me? A minute or two of my time? Worth it? Check.

Sometimes though, it's not that cut and dry. Waiting for 45 extra seconds at the door of the post office to hold it open for the man taking his time in the parking lot doesn't exactly compare to throwing yourself over someone else while your car is spinning out of control and headed straight towards an Oak tree.

But that's the thing. Maybe it's our instinct to help those around us. Maybe we were all born with this constant need to help others, despite the motivation. It could be because our gene that carries selflessness is just a little bigger than the next persons. Or maybe it's because we long for that fulfillment, satisfaction, or even recognition that we get when we reach out and help someone. Nonetheless, good deeds are a science. Noble and helpful acts are something to be studied. And experimented with? Perhaps.

What if we took a second, went against our gut feelings. Instead of waiting for the man behind you to come through the door, you wait for him to open it for you? Ask for something, don't give it. Tell him how you're feeling, don't make him ask.

As humans, for the most part, it's safe to say we put others first. But should we try every once in a while to put ourselves first? Not stick our neck out even though we feel we should? Keep quiet when we should pipe up just because it'll benefit us a bit more? And the question...

Does the gain from helping others, putting their needs first, overpower the benefit from putting ourselves first? Just how equal are these two concepts?