It's easy to sit here and say that we have it all figured out. That we know we are meant to be where we are. That we can't wait for tomorrow or for all these things we have planned for the future.
As an individual with the need for a calendar, I know I may sound hypocritical. But it's not about not having a calendar. It's about being able to understand and deal with the scratch marks or the eraser shavings that may accumulate over time on the 12 months that are laid out in front of you on paper.
I was bitter before. Some could argue I'm bitter now. A good friend of mine talked to me today and was clearly upset. Her "perfect" boyfriend of a year had broken up with her in the most impersonal way one could imagine. Through a text message. At this point, a post-it note would have been a better substitute. So, today, I listened to my friend tell me how stupid she felt afterwards. But isn't that always how it goes when looking back? What if we make all these plans, make a life for ourselves and then, a year down the road, the only real evidence of what could have been, what you had been planning, is a note buried in a stack of papers. A picture that pops up as a screen saver. A passing thought.
It's scary how quickly we can lose what we're holding onto. A swift wind. A sudden turn. Gravity. All these environmental influences that can make what you have built come crashing down to the floor.
I'm saying something simple. I'm saying don't sit there and say that you have it all. Because who knows... the next morning you could turn around and that beautiful vase that you filled with the most gorgeous flowers could be a heap of glass, petals, and water on the floor behind you. All that work, all that love, could be nothing someday. Lord knows it's happened to most of us in the past. We can claim that this relationship is better than the last, that it's completely different. But, if you think about it, that relationship is still 50% the same because you're responsible for half of it. And that doesn't change. So, when it all boils down, how different is this from before? How is the first different from the last?
I can look into my past objectively. Same mistakes. Same trends. Same me. Case in point.
As an individual with the need for a calendar, I know I may sound hypocritical. But it's not about not having a calendar. It's about being able to understand and deal with the scratch marks or the eraser shavings that may accumulate over time on the 12 months that are laid out in front of you on paper.
I was bitter before. Some could argue I'm bitter now. A good friend of mine talked to me today and was clearly upset. Her "perfect" boyfriend of a year had broken up with her in the most impersonal way one could imagine. Through a text message. At this point, a post-it note would have been a better substitute. So, today, I listened to my friend tell me how stupid she felt afterwards. But isn't that always how it goes when looking back? What if we make all these plans, make a life for ourselves and then, a year down the road, the only real evidence of what could have been, what you had been planning, is a note buried in a stack of papers. A picture that pops up as a screen saver. A passing thought.
It's scary how quickly we can lose what we're holding onto. A swift wind. A sudden turn. Gravity. All these environmental influences that can make what you have built come crashing down to the floor.
I'm saying something simple. I'm saying don't sit there and say that you have it all. Because who knows... the next morning you could turn around and that beautiful vase that you filled with the most gorgeous flowers could be a heap of glass, petals, and water on the floor behind you. All that work, all that love, could be nothing someday. Lord knows it's happened to most of us in the past. We can claim that this relationship is better than the last, that it's completely different. But, if you think about it, that relationship is still 50% the same because you're responsible for half of it. And that doesn't change. So, when it all boils down, how different is this from before? How is the first different from the last?
I can look into my past objectively. Same mistakes. Same trends. Same me. Case in point.
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