You Live, You Learn

Spontaniety. Something I wish I had more of. But yet, all my friends and family say I'm very spontaneous. I would like to think I am. Actually, it's more of an impulsive type of deal.

I got a tattoo on a whim and plan on doing it again. I'm jumping out of a plane for my birthday this year. I make random trips, though just by bus, to visit friends, sometimes without telling them. But, I want more of this. I want to be able to pack a backpack and go. Fly somewhere with no plans and figure it all out as I go. I want to be able to cut my hair in the most ridiculous way without giving a shit about what people think about it. But I can't. I have plans and I have to follow those plans. Or I'll be screwed.

My friends make fun of me all the time for making bad decisions. Bad decisions don't necessarily exist. Because, with everything bad that happens, with everything that you mess up, you learn from it. You learn that the person you decided to sleep with a few weeks ago is actually the asshole you thought they were, that missing those questions on the quiz meant you should have studied more, that getting beeped at and almost hit by a car while crossing Huntington Ave meant you should have taken your headphones out and looked both ways before crossing the street. You learn from everything that goes on in your life. The benefits from living reach beyond infinity. Yeah, stuff sucks sometimes. I have had days where I thought it would be a miracle if I could see the next morning without going insane. I have had days where I stayed in bed and cried until I fell back asleep. But, I'm still here. I'm still alive. And, I still manage to find happiness.

I'm not really sure where this whole thing is going. I started out talking about jumping out of an airplane and ended with talking about crying in bed. But, I warned you. This was going to be messy. Not organized. Lately, I haven't been able to sleep. I don't know if it's because I'm dreaming things that I don't want to dream, or if it's because I have too much on my mind. Nonetheless, I have been able to watching enough E! news to last me a lifetime. This was made apparent last night when I had a dream about dating Joe Jonas and I actually remember asking him about his rumored relationship with Selena Gomez. Again, I'm talking about everything and anything right now. It should be time for me to go to bed. So, I guess that's where I'm headed.

And, I just decided my next tattoo.

You Live, You Learn.

So appropriate.